War is Hell
by soxnknots93
Summary: My name is Sonya Kotov and I come from Russia. But now, things have changed a lot, and I find myself in a different place...world. I'm away from my home, my family, and my friends, and I am frightened. I'm being asked to fight; no...kill.
1. Chapter 1

What could have happened? How could I have been sent here? And most importantly; where am I?

Many questions raced through my mind, as I looked around the wooded area that I was standing right in the midst of. Rays of sunshine shone through the tree branches, which seemed to be blocking most sunlight. However, the light began to fade, and darkness eventually made it's way back in to the forest, blanketing everything in black.

I was alone. Emptiness began to fill my stomach. The feeling was a lot like what I got, once I had received the news that I was abandoned as a child. My life has always been dark. Always. Why not just sit here and wait, and not care about what might happen to me?

But something kicked in. Something intelligent…my conscience, something I rarely listened to. It told me to not give up, and to not think such horrible things about myself. But how could I not? I was the kid who had to wonder…what where my parents like? Didn't they love me? Why did they leave me? But did I get any answers? No.

Something rustled in the bushes and made me jump, snapping me out of my trance.

I had no weapons that I could use to defend myself. And so I thought…this is it.

I slowly rose to my feet, and leaned against the tree, hoping to not be seen. Maybe the dark was playing tricks on me? I wondered. It seemed to do that a lot. I never liked the dark.

Suddenly, I felt something brush against my leg, and I jumped.

"H-hello?" I stuttered, but still tried to sound strong, and fearless. But I got the feeling that, something evil stood near me, and shivers were sent shooting up and down my spine.

"Hello?" I asked again, but something, once again brushed passed me.

"Hello?" this time I sounded desperate. I couldn't see; I could only hear, feel and wonder if there was something out to get me.

All of a sudden, I felt something go through me like fire, and a sharp pain surged throughout my abdomen. Now, I felt warm fluids running down my stomach, and I could only guess that it was blood. I reached down and touched the gash, and quietly whimpered as another shot of pain went through me. It was too much to bear, and I fell to me knees, still holding my stomach.

"Nyet, nyet!" I cried out. The taste of blood began to fill my mouth and I gagged. I began to heave, making the pain in my stomach a thousand times worse than it was before.

Tears ran down my cheeks, mixing with the blood that was now dripping down my chin.

"Nyet!" I said, this time a little more quiet.

Something knocked me hard on the back of my head. And my eyes began to blur. "Nyet!" I didn't want to give up. This time I wanted to live. But everything went black, and evil whispers filled my ears...

Russian translation:

Nyet: No!


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up, and found that my hands were tied behind my back. The right side of my body was completely numb from lying on it, for who knows how long, and blood ran down the back of my head, right in the place that I had been hit.

Things all around me were still blurry, but I could just about make out what people were saying. Wait…..these weren't people. These were creatures. Ugly creatures. They had kidnapped me! I squirmed around a lot, trying to see if I could get loose at all, but there was no use of escaping. What if I made them angrier by doing so? Tears filled my eyes as I thought of what might happen to me.

A loud grunt escaped my lips, attracting one of the creatures.

"What are you squealing about?" the creature grabbed me around the mouth, and pulled me up, so I could look him in the eye.

"I don't want to hear another word from you!" it screamed, dropping me back down on the ground. I hit my head.

I tried as hard as I could to not cry, but tears started to run down my cheeks.

What were these creatures, and what did they want with me?

So many questions ran through my mind as I lay in this dungeon like room. It was dark, damp, and it stunk.

Would I ever be found?

~~~~

Aragorn knelt down and looked at the pool of blood that was now the forest floor and partly on the tree. Legolas stared at him in wonder.

"What is it, Aragorn?" the elf asked, while kneeling down beside his friend.

"Blood," Aragorn whispered. While examining the red like substance.

"Orc blood?" Gimli asked.

"No," Aragorn said quietly. "Orc blood is black…but this is red." The ranger furrowed his brow as he thought. What could have happened here, he wondered. Was someone killed, and their body taken away? Or perhaps, they were still alive. It was also possible that they had taken their own life.

"Aragorn," Legolas quietly said, snapping his friend out of his trance.

"This has something to do with the enemy." Aragorn said. "I'm not quite sure yet, but I know that the enemy has something to do with this—look over here." The ranger walked over to a far part of the forest. "Orc tracks," Aragorn was definitely on to something.

"Whose blood do you suppose that was? And why would they be in this forest, being as dangerous as it is?" Gimli asked. Aragorn shrugged. The ranger knew many things, but this time, he was clueless.

"We've lingered here too long." Legolas said when he heard a rustling in the bushes. "We must go." Aragorn and Gimli nodded, and followed the elf.

~~~~

"Come with me!" the creature yelled, and began to drag me out of the dungeon room. He had a hold of my hair, and I whimpered as his tugs became harder and harder.

"Please," I begged. "Where are you taking me?" the creature scowled at me.

"Never you mind that!" he yelled.

I began to cry, once again, as the hard floor began to cut into my bare legs as I was dragged along.

"Stop your crying!" the creature yelled at me. "Or you'll be sorry!"

What was I going to do? Was he going to kill me?

The creature finally dropped me on the cold, damp ground. We were again in the middle of a forest. I was hoping that he was going to let me go—but I was wrong.

He pulled out a rope, and threw me against the tree. I could pretty much figure out what was going to happen to me next.

The creature tied me to the tree, and pulled out a dagger. I flinched, even at the sight of it.

"No, no! Nyet, nyet!" I pleaded. But it didn't listen to me.

It held back the dagger, and within seconds plunged it into my stomach…


	3. Chapter 3

(Note: Hey everyone. I want to let you know that I realize this is changing from first to third person. I tried to find a way to separate those paragraphs, but I am having a difficult time uploading it that way. Please bear with me, as I am new to this site, but in the meantime, enjoy!)

"Aragorn, look!" Legolas yelled. Aragorn ran over to where Legolas was standing, and gasped.

Tied to a tree was a young girl. Her face was pale, and blood stained her clothing.

"Oh my," Gimli said quietly. "Is she dead—is this the girl whose blood we found in another part of the forest?" Aragorn shrugged and tears filled his eyes.

"She was young," he said. "Not yet 17."

Aragorn looked at his friends and sighed.

"We should cut her down from there." Legolas said.

"And then what?" Aragorn snapped. Legolas was surprised at him. It was a different side of his friend that he had never seen before.

Aragorn frowned. "I'm sorry," he said. "It's just…another life has been wasted. A young life—yes, let's cut her down."

After the young girl had been cut down, Aragorn was trying to decide what to do. Whether he should bury her, or just leave her where she is.

"What now?" Gimli asked.

"I do not know." Aragorn admitted. Legolas was surprised that Aragorn was giving up that easily. He has never done that before.

Legolas knelt down by the young girl and grabbed her limp hand. She is so beautiful, he thought. Her hair was black, but her skin fair, and her body was very petite. It made him want to cry at the thought of someone wanting to take her life. This must have been the making of an orc, or something just as foul as one.

Getting up, he noticed something that surprised him. Her chest was slowly moving up and down.

"Aragorn!" Legolas called. "She's breathing!" Aragorn ran over and saw the slight sign of life, as well.

"We need to get her medicine!" he said. "As soon as possible." He gently slung her over his shoulder.

"Legolas, Gimli, we will take her to Edoras with us. Maybe they'll be of some assistance. The two nodded, and they began their journey to Edoras.

Aragorn was happy. There was some hope after all. She was still alive, barely, but still alive.

~~~~

I woke up at the sound of a crackling fire. My stomach burned like fire, and the pain was almost paralyzing. I just gazed up at the trees, which stood above me and wondered where I was now. Was this heaven? Where did that creature go, and why wasn't I still tied to the tree. What if I had been found by another creature and all they wanted to see was me endure more pain. I cringed at the thought of it and wanted to just go back to sleep. As I began to shut my eyes once more, someone had discovered I was awake. It was a man—no wait, his ears were pointed. Was he an elf? Could that be possible? But after what had happened to me, I would believe just about anything.

"Aragorn," the elf whispered. He had a nice voice—a comforting voice. "She's awake." The man, who was addressed by the name Aragorn, came over to my side, and grabbed my hand. I smiled, though, I was afraid—worried that I couldn't trust him.

"You're awake." He smiled. I nodded.

"What happened?" I asked. "Where you the ones who cut me down from the tree? How long was I out?" I asked, and still had many more questions racing through my mind.

"We found you tied to a tree. We were afraid we were too late but, you were still breathing. You gave us hope, so we decided to take you to Edoras where we could give you medicine—"

"Wait," I said. "Did you just say Edoras?" I asked. I had never heard of that place before, but I certainly knew that it wasn't anywhere near where I lived. The man nodded.

I grunted. I certainly did not need this.

"Oh, never mind!" I groaned. "I won't ask anymore questions now! I most certainly do not need this!" I rubbed my eyes, and flinched as my stomach began to burn even more than it did before. I began to cry.

"I just want to go home!" Aragorn looked at me and I could tell that he felt bad for me.

"I will let you sleep more." He said. "Do not trouble yourself with disturbing thoughts; I will take care of everything." He said. "Sleep." He gently stroked my hair, which felt nice, but I just couldn't seem to fall back to sleep.

I closed my eyes and could hear Aragorn and the elf, whose name seemed to be Legolas, talking…

"I think she would be useful in the fight." Legolas demanded.

"No," Aragorn said. "She's already been wounded once; I will not take the chance of that happening again!"

"But, Aragorn, I think she is stronger than we know." The elf demanded again.

"Legolas, she is wounded, she wants to go home, and do you see the way she is behaving? Her attitude is nothing but bitter. No, I will not risk her getting hurt again! She is young; she deserves to live along life!" Aragorn was getting himself worked up. He was angry at Legolas, for some reason, and couldn't control it.

He walked away and thought about what Legolas had said. Maybe he was right. Maybe this girl is here for a reason. And maybe she is strong enough to fight…


	4. Chapter 4

(Note: This chapter will begin with a flashback, just to make things clear. Enjoy!)

"I want my mamma!" I sobbed, while yanking at my foster mother's clothes. I knew that she loved me like one of her own children, but she still wasn't the same as my biological mother. Though, I didn't have many memories of my real parents. I didn't see them very often, and…they didn't give me the love that I needed.

Nelly, my new mother, picked me up and held me close.

"You're going to be staying with us now. But I promise you that you'll love it here." She said. I shook my head no. I didn't like my home in Russia, but I also didn't like the people who took me away from it. I couldn't make up my mind.

Maybe this would be better, I thought, as I looked around what was my new home. It was a big white house with green shutters, and inside, looked like a palace to me; though, it wasn't really all that big.

"Would you like to see your new room?" Nelly asked me. I nodded and she brought me up the stairs and in to, what I thought was a magnificent room.

My bed was by the window, and next to it was my dresser. The walls were a light blue, and the carpeting was a dark blue. My closet was a walk in closet, with all of my clothes already hung. At the end of the bed was a toy box which was filled with new toys that I could play with, and on the other side of my bed was a lamp table, with a lamp on it.

I turned to Nelly and gave her a smile. "I think I'm gonna like it here." I said, though, I still wasn't quite sure. I didn't know Nelly, my mother, and Joe, my father, too well, but they seemed very nice, to me.

I wrapped my arms around Nelly's leg, in my little kid fashion and she smiled down at me.

"Can we play with my toys?" I asked. Nelly nodded, and opened my toy box and began to play with me.

As I got older, I began to realize what my parents really had done to me, and I resented it. I hate them for it and don't suppose that I'll ever forgive them. "How could someone abandon a child?" I asked myself, but I realize that some people's hearts are as cold as ice.

I now call Nelly and Joe, Mom and Dad, but I still wonder, "What were my real parents like? Why did they leave me? Wasn't I what they wanted? Was I that horrible of a child?" Joe and Nelly didn't think I was horrible, that's for sure. They gave me the love that I needed, but I still was missing something…my real parents.

I began to grow bitter and angry as life went on. I didn't treat Nelly and Joe as respectfully as I should have and also had sinful wishes. Wishes to not live anymore. I know it would hurt Nelly and Joe terribly if anything happened to me, but I couldn't help but want to not live anymore. My life has been nothing but wondering why. And all I can do is hate.

Yes, I'll admit that my childhood was wonderful, but then I didn't realize what my parents had really done, and had gotten away with. And now I do…

~~~~

I woke up, and this time I was lying on a cot in a darkened room with nothing but one lit candle. I shivered underneath my thin quilt that was wrapped around me. I realized that my wound had been bandaged and miraculously, began to heal.

This place must be Edoras. At least Aragorn didn't abandon me, I thought bitterly.

I slowly sat up, and began to take in my surroundings. I couldn't make much out, as it was very dark in the room.

The door began to open, and in came Aragorn.

"Oh, Milady," he said. "I'm sorry to wake you." He said. I frowned.

"You didn't wake me." I said dryly. "And stop with this 'milady' stuff." He looked surprised at my reaction.

"You know, I do not really like this place all that much." I said. Aragorn walked over to my bedside.

"I'm sorry, but these are hard times. You see, we are in the middle of a war and—"

"A war?" I stopped him. What did he mean a war? Oh great, I thought. What's gonna happen to me now?

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"It's too much for a young girl to hear. But I assure you that you will be safe." Aragorn said.

"You mean it's none of my business?" I asked with a smirk on my face.

"Cause if that's what you mean, then why didn't you just say so?" Aragorn looked bewildered.

"I heard you and that elf guy talking earlier about wanting me to fight." I said.

"I told him no." Aragorn said.

"I hope so." I grumbled.

"He said you were strong."

"He must be mistaken."

"Maybe he's right."

"I think you're trippin'"

I stared him down until he could say no more.

"I think you should leave. I don't think you should be in here." I said. He nodded.

"I'm sorry, Milady." He said. I rolled my eyes.

"Just call me Sonya." I said dryly. He nodded, and within moments, left my room.

I rested my head back on the pillow, and could still feel the burning sensation in my stomach and just wanted it to go away. I scoffed at the idea of them wanting me to fight. At least Aragorn had enough sense to say no. I mean, Are they crazy for wanting me to fight? Are they?

I groaned and tried to go back to sleep…but I couldn't.

~~~~

I had decided to get up and walk around, to see where I'd be staying. It was a big place, and its beauty gave me chills.

I backed up, and bumped into someone. I jumped and turned to see who it was.

I saw a beautiful woman with blond hair and strong features.

"Oh I'm sorry." The woman said.

"No, I'm sorry." I said.

"Have we met?" the woman asked.

"No," I said. "Aragorn brought me here."

"Oh Aragorn?" she asked.

"You know him?" I said.

"Yes," she sighed.

All of a sudden, my stomach began to burn again, and I clutched it.

"Are you alright?" the woman asked. "Have you been wounded?"

"Yes," I moaned. "Yes." I said again. My breathing began to grow heavy.

"Why don't you sit down?" she said, walking me over to a chair.

"Thank you." I said.

"What is your name?" the woman asked after a few minutes of silence.

"My name is Sonya…Kotov." I said. "And you?"

"Eowyn," she said quietly, with a concerned look on her face as she saw all of the sweat that was falling down my face.

"The men want me to fight." I blurted out. "Or at least, one of them does!" I began to cry.

"Shush," Eowyn rubbed my back, trying to calm me down.

"They said I was strong, but I don't see what they mean. It's too much for me to handle! I've been wounded, and now I'm being asked to fight!" I yelled. Eowyn looked startled.

"You may be strong…and you just don't know it yet." Eowyn said.

"And how do you know?" I yelled.

"Because I know."


	5. Chapter 5

I stared at Eowyn blankly like she was nuts. Which, in a sense she was. Everyone was now, in my opinion. They wanted me to fight, right after I had been wounded. Well if they knew what I have gone through in my past, surely they would lay off. I don't want to be a part of this stupid war. No. They can not make me fight. They can not.

"No." I said sternly. "I will not fight. You all must be insane to assume that someone like me—who has just been wounded, I might add—is strong enough to fight in a war like this. I don't even know what I'd be fighting for, to top it all off. So, no, I will not fight, and you can't make me!" I yelled out, pretty much all at once. I was furious and I could feel my face go red. Eowyn looked startled at me.

"I'm sorry. I did not know it would offend you in any way." Eowyn paused and looked around the dark room. "I should be going back to bed—I'm sorry if I've offended you. Sleep well, Sonya Kotov." And like that, Eowyn left the room, leaving me in the dark.

I stared blankly for quite a long time pondering my horrible situation. This was certainly a nightmare. No worse. A living nightmare. There was no way that anyone would get me to fight. I didn't even know what this whole war was about. It was all insanity, in my opinion. The situation and everyone involved in it. I wanted to go home, but I knew that it wasn't going to happen anytime soon. I also want a few of my questions answered. Such as, "Where am I? What is this war about? Why do you want me to fight?" but nobody seemed to want to answer my questions. I wanted to know who this Aragorn was, and why he wouldn't tell me what was going on. I wanted to know who this Legolas was, who appeared to be an elf, and why he thought I'd be able to fight. I also wanted to know why even Eowyn seemed to think it was a good idea that I should fight. Who were those creatures that kidnapped me and almost killed me?

I looked down at my frail body and couldn't imagine myself in armor. That would be a very strange thing to see. No, no. There must be a mistake. Maybe they're thinking of some other woman who would be suitable as a warrior.

I yawned, and finally decided to go back to my room, which wasn't very inviting. However, I had no other choice.

~~~~

The next day, I was woken up by Eowyn herself. She wore a beautiful green gown with stunning embroidery on it. It was like none other I've ever seen. But now, in her arms was another gown much like it, only it was red. I realized that it was meant for me.  
>"Oh, no," I said. "I do not do dresses." Eowyn looked very surprised as she laid the gorgeous gown down on my bed. I knew that it was beautiful, but I never was one to put a dress on. Dresses and I didn't go well together.<p>

"Why not?" she asked, while looking down at my own scummy blood stained clothes that I had on.

My once nice button up white blouse's front was now mostly covered in blood stains. The denim shorts I had were now torn and also covered in blood stains, not to mention dirt from being dragged across a scummy floor. Also, I looked down at my legs and realized how torn up they were. And for the first time, I had noticed what I really looked like…

I looked weak, dirty, and helpless.

I slowly nodded my head and took the dress off of my bed.

"Thank you," I said quietly. "Is there a way…?" I hesitated. "That I could get a bath?" Eowyn gave me a smile and nodded. For the first time, I felt relieved.

~~~~

Later on that day, I felt refreshed. I had carefully cleaned my wound, along with the rest of my body. And now, I felt clean. As much as I hated it, the dress Eowyn had given to me was on, and it fit perfectly.

I saw Aragorn leaning against the wall smoking his pipe so, I began to walk over to him; hoping that I could get some more information out of him.

"Hello," I said, flirtatiously. Maybe this would work, I thought. "Can I stand with you?" he nodded and smiled.

"So," I began, hoping that I could start up a conversation. "How much danger are we in?" I just came out with my question. I couldn't help but ask. Aragorn gave me a sad look.

"Anytime, now," he said sadly. "It's only a matter of time…" Aragorn became very quiet.

"Who are we—I mean—you guys up against?" I asked. "Men?"

"No," he said. "You've met some of them." I thought back to the recent experience I had with those wretched creatures.

"Were those them?" I asked, my body beginning to shiver at the thought of having to deal with those again.

"Some of them." Aragorn said.

"You mean there are more?" I was shocked. How could there be more of those horrid things?

"Yes," Aragorn said, while sucking in some more of his sweet smelling pipe weed. "Many more. Other kinds of evil. Such as Uruk-hai, which are a mix of orcs and goblin men." He stopped and turned to me. "That's why you must stay out of this." I was relieved to hear him say that. Of course I would not be suitable as a warrior; I thought and scoffed, to myself.

"Were those orcs that I dealt with, before?" I couldn't help but ask. Aragorn nodded.

"But it won't happen again. I promise you, that, no matter what anyone says, you will not fight."


	6. Chapter 6

"You will not fight." Those four words raced through my mind as I sighed a sigh of relief. Aragorn stood in front of me, with a stern look on his face. I would not fight.

My nerves were calm for once, but for some reason, it felt wrong. Wrong in the sense that these people needed help, and I wasn't willing to give it to them. Oh, what was I thinking? I've been wounded; of course I shouldn't be expected to fight!

"Thank you." I said quietly. Aragorn slightly nodded, and turned to walk away.

"Uh, Aragorn?" I asked. He turned back around to face me.

"I'm not letting you people down by not fighting, am I?" Aragorn raised his eyebrows with a shocked look on his face.

"Of course not," He said; though, he did seem a little unsure of himself. "You should not be expected to fight, especially since you've been wounded. We have plenty of men to fight for us. Do not trouble yourself with the thought of war." He was lying. I could see that they didn't have enough men to fight for them. I sighed and put on a fake smile.

"Thank you, Aragorn." I said, and he walked away.

Nope, I thought, there is no way anyone is going to get me to fight now. They can't make me feel guilty. But I was. I felt so guilty.

I slumped down in a chair and sighed. My stomach still burned slightly, and I grabbed it and closed my eyes. I was trying to picture what it was like back home…before I came here. My parents must be terrified, I thought. But I didn't really care. In fact, part of me never wanted to go home. Home was where all my memories were, and few of them were good. It was the place that I realized that my real parents didn't want me anymore. Why would someone want to go home to a place like that?

I was so deep in thought that I didn't realize that Lady Eowyn was standing behind me, tapping my shoulder.

"Excuse me," she said loud enough for me to hear. I jumped, and snapped out of my trance.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I apologized. "Were you standing there long?" Eowyn smiled and ran her fingers through my long dark hair.

"No," she said, and thought for a moment. "Would you like to take a walk and maybe talk for a while?" she asked hopefully, but then thought better of it. "Oh, wait; your wound…"

"No, it's fine…I'm better…let's go for a walk."

~~~~

This was the first time I had ever seen what Edoras looked like. Eowyn explained to me that I was staying in the Golden Hall.

Edoras was a beautiful place. So natural…no pollution. Water was clean and pure. There were no factories to be seen. Nothing, absolutely nothing, polluted the air.

"It's beautiful here." I said with a large, goofy grin on my face. Eowyn smiled and brought me down a large hill, to where we found a beautiful stream.

Without any warning, I ran to the water, lifted my skirt above my knees and waded in the cool, soothing water. Eowyn raised her eyebrows at me, not knowing what to make of it.

"Come on in!" I said, excitedly, like a little kid. Eowyn shrugged, not knowing if she should or not.

"I don't know if I should." She said quietly. "Maybe it would be better if I didn't." I looked at her and frowned.

"Come on! Are you afraid it won't be lady like?" I teased. Eowyn giggled and finally gave in. She ran in to the water and splashed me, getting my whole dress all wet.

"Oh no you didn't!" I said and splashed her back. Let's just say that the rest just ended up as a water war.

I went to get of the water, but a sharp pain ran through my stomach. I realized that I had gotten my wound wet, when I shouldn't have.

"What's wrong?" Eowyn ran to my side.

"My stomach," I gasped.

"I'm sorry!" Eowyn apologized.

"It's not your fault; it's mine." I said, clutching my stomach. Eowyn helping me out of the water. I leaned on her as we slowly made our way back to the Golden Hall.

A man walked up to us and raised his eyebrows as he watched me struggle. He had a twinkle in his eye, and if you ask me, he was very handsome. His hair was blond and fell to his shoulders. He was dressed all in armor, and in his arms he held a helmet.

"Eowyn," he said as he came closer to us. "Who is your friend, and what happened to her?" he asked' looking totally bewildered.

"She was wounded, Eomer, Aragorn found her and brought her here." Eowyn explained. I tried to stand up straight, but failed to do so. The pain was too great.

"I'm sorry to hear that you were wounded." He said, and then examined our sopping wet clothing. "How did you get all wet?" he asked with a snicker. Eowyn furrowed her brow and playfully punched him in the shoulder.

"We were having fun." She said with a smirk.

"Well," he started. "I had better get going…it was a pleasure to meet you, uh, oh I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." I blushed as he stared into my eyes and almost forgot to answer him.

"My name is Sonya Kotov, but just call me Sonya." I smiled and giggled almost like a little girl.

"Nice to meet you." Eomer said, bowing his head, and then, he walked away.

"He's so nice." I said, Eowyn rolled her eyes. "Is he your husband?" I asked.

"Husband?" Eowyn laughed. "No, no, of course not! He's my brother! A goofy one, too!"

"I wish that I had brothers or sisters." I grumbled to myself, but apparently, Eowyn heard me.

"Why? Don't you have any?" she asked.

"No," I mumbled. "I wish I did though. It gets boring being an only child." Eowyn patted my back and smiled.

"What is your family like?" she asked. I froze. I wasn't about to tell her about my family. It would be very hard for me to tell her about my foster parents, and that my real parents abandoned me when I was a little girl. What was I to say?

"Um," I thought. It wasn't really any of her business. I don't have to tell her if I don't want to. So…I lied.

"Um, I love my parents, they're wonderful people." I started out kind of uneasy, not knowing what exactly to say. "They've been married very long." With this last part, I had to choke back tears.

"What is the matter?" Eowyn asked as she saw me trying not to cry.

"Oh nothing," I said. "I suppose I just got a little bit of dust in my eye…that's all." I said, trying to put on a smile. Eowyn frowned, knowing that I was holding something back.

"You can tell me anything. I won't be offended, or whatever you think I'll be. You can trust me." Eowyn said gently. I smiled and nodded, but still didn't tell her my secret. I was determined that nobody would find out.

~~~~

Later on in the evening, I found myself walking aimlessly around the Golden Hall. It was a beautiful and haunting place. Both at the same time.

I back up, and bumped into someone. I quickly turned around and found myself staring into Eomer's beautiful eyes.

"Hello," he said, I blushed. "It's late. Shouldn't you be in bed?" I frowned; I didn't like to be treated like a child.

"No," I said. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, if you think that I'm not." Eomer stared at me, and then grinned.

"I wasn't implying that you couldn't. It's just, you've been wounded, and I didn't want to take the chance of that happening again." He placed his hand on my shoulder and chills ran up and down my spine.

"Yes well," I began, but sleep seemed to have caught up with me. I yawned and suddenly became a little dizzy.

"Maybe I will go to bed." I slurred, and turned to walked away. But I felt a strong grip around my wrist.  
>"Goodnight." Eomer said, and gently kissed my brow. This was certainly unexpected, but definitely welcome.<p>

"Thank you." I smiled, and made my way back to my room.

~~~~

The next day, I as woken up by someone shaking me violently. I opened my eyes, and saw Eowyn staring down at me.

"Get out of bed at once!" Eowyn said. She didn't seem angry, but just nervous.

"What? What's wrong?" I jumped up, but then, once again felt a slight burning sensation in my stomach.

"The men are about to leave! We can't let them go alone!" Eowyn said quietly.

"Go alone, where?" I asked. I was so confused. I definitely didn't need this.

"To Minas Tirith."

"But why are they going there?" I asked, bewildered.

"To fight." Eowyn said sternly. My eyes grew wide. To fight? Did Eowyn expect me to fight? Didn't Aragorn tell her that I wasn't going to be doing that? Why was she telling me about it?

"A-a-are you going?" I stuttered. She nodded.

"But the men don't know, you can't tell them about it!" she said desperately. "They don't want me to go with them." I looked at her with wide eyes.

"Are you crazy?" I asked. "Why don't you stay with me? It's much safer!" Eowyn looked around the room, almost as if she were making sure that no one else was present.

"No, what I want is for you to come with me!" I backed away from her. Tears began to well up in my eyes, but I tried to fight them.

"No! No! Absolutely not! I'm not suitable as a warrior!" I yelled. Eowyn shushed me.

"We can fight together! Come on, Sonya, I know you can do it! I know you're strong enough!" Eowyn's encouraging words were almost enough to convince me, but I still wasn't sure if it was a good idea.

"No, Eowyn, no. Can't you see that I've been wounded? You know for a fact that I can't do it! I can't wield a sword, nor can I shoot an arrow, and you are asking me to assist you on a battlefield? No, no, I think you are mistaken!" My long speech of putting myself down was finally over and she raised her eyebrows at me.

"Come," she said. "We'll see if we can find you some chain mail."


	7. Chapter 7

The chain mail was heavier than I had thought, and made it very hard for me to walk; especially since I had been wounded. I wasn't even sure if it would help much, at all. If anything, it would slow me down.

Eowyn handed me a beautiful sword, with markings engraved on the blade.

"They're elvish markings." Eowyn explained as she ran her up and down its cool blade. I nodded and then tried to imagine myself swinging it around a battlefield.

"Here," Eowyn handed me a helmet, which looked a lot like the one her brother Eomer wore. The helmet was even heavy and made my head and neck sore. I groaned and stared at Eowyn.

"That will do." Eowyn said, while examining every bit of my armor, making sure I looked like the way I was supposed to look.

Then, Eowyn noticed my long black hair sticking out from under my helmet, which made me look very feminine.

"We'll have to fix that." She said, while stuffing my silky strands back into the helmet.

"Alright," Eowyn smiled, and that was when I realized how strong she really was. She was proud and didn't seem afraid about going to battle. How I longed to be like her; though, everyone seemed to think that I was strong. I really wasn't.

"I'll get you a horse to ride." Eowyn said, and began to walk to the barn. I jumped, and began stuttering as I tried to explain my concerns to her.

"R-r-ride a horse?" I asked and she nodded. "B-b-but I don't even have my driver's license back where I come from; how can you expect me to ride a horse?" Eowyn giggled, opened the barn doors, and led me to a beautiful brown horse with white patches all over its chest.

"You can learn quickly. I'll teach you." Eowyn said, while petting the horse's nose. I hung my head and realized what I really had gotten myself into.

"Ok, you can teach me." I quietly answered her. Eowyn smiled and patted my back.

"Do not worry; I'll look out for you and make sure that nothing bad happens. You have to trust me, and most importantly; trust yourself. You are strong. Do not doubt your abilities."

"What abilities?" I asked and glared at Eowyn. I suppose I sounded kind of harsh.

"I have no abilities. You hear me? None! I've never been successful at anything, nor am I beautiful, wise, and strong like you! So for you to think that I'd last more than 5 minutes on a battlefield is totally wrong!" I finished, and my adrenaline was running wild. My heart was pumping and I was now furious at Eowyn. How dare she…compliment me.

I grunted and realized that she was only being kind to me, and I was the one who was being rotten and bitter.

"I'm sorry," I sighed and put my head in my hands. "Things are so confusing, now. Life was complicated enough back at my real home, and now I'm being told I'm in a different time and place." I looked up at her with watering eyes.

"Yes, you can teach me how to ride a horse, if you want." Eowyn smiled, and gently took my hand and pressed it against the horse's face. Its nose was cold and wet. I couldn't believe how gentle it was.

"What's its name?" I asked.

"Amrod." Eowyn answered.

"Well, we had better get started on your riding lessons. I'm not sure how long it will be before we have to leave."

~~~~

Dirt smudged my face, and new cuts covered my pale and already scarred legs. I held my helmet in my arms and on my face was a look of horror…a scowl. Eowyn followed behind me apologizing as much as she could. I could have gone easier on her, of course that would have been the way to do it. But I didn't.

"I apologize about your fall." Eowyn said, as she gently touched my shoulder. I pulled away.

"Look, I've already been torn, scarred, bruised, and stabbed…what more could happen to me? Oh wait, I know! I could fall off a horse!" I yelled, and my yells echoed throughout Edoras. Eowyn flinched at the sound of my loud voice, and tried to calm me down.

"You have to learn how to ride properly, if you are going to fight." I scowled at her and tried to hold back from yelling, but I just couldn't. At that moment, I let anything and everything out that was bothering me.

"No!" I started, first by pounding my fist on the wall of the barn, where we were now standing. "No! First of all, you were the one who asked me to fight with you, and I couldn't fathom why! Now, I've got to learn how to ride a freakin' horse, and whose idea was it? Yours! This whole idea is stupid! This war, these people…these clothes! I don't know where the heck I am; so, Eowyn, could you please start by telling me what planet you people are from? Oh, and if you want to know; my stomach aches, and burns, and churns, and none of you people seem to care! None of you know that my life is a living hell back home! Nobody that I've met, except your brother, seems to understand! So, if you would leave me alone maybe I wouldn't be in such a bad mood all the time! I don't care if I die. Right now, I don't care what happens to me! I wish that Aragorn had let me die out in the woods! It would have been so much better for me!" I couldn't stop yelling. It seemed that I could just go on and on, and I still could have more to say. But Eowyn, even though I was screaming at her, still stood in front of me, with an amused look on her face, watching me ware myself out by screaming.

Finally, I tired myself out and just stared at Eowyn with tear streaked cheeks. She looked like she really did care about me, something I didn't really know about her.

I panted and my knees became wobbly. Sweat poured down my stern looking face, and all in front of me became blurry. The room began to spin and I fell over. Eowyn caught me, and held me up.

"Sonya!" she gasped. "Let's get you back to your room."

~~~~

Eowyn sat by my side until I really became conscious again. I laid in my bad and pouted for what seemed like hours, but they were really only a few minutes. The truth was that I was angry at myself for yelling at Eowyn, who has been nothing but nice to me. But, I've also been asked to fight, which hasn't been putting me into a good mood, and there is still a part of me that resents Aragorn and his companions for wanting me to fight. I still couldn't fathom why that would be the case. I'm no more than 5'3", and my slender body would be nothing against those horrible creatures that I saw and what Aragorn had described to me. Yes, it was true, I did have some muscle, but not enough to wield a sword like the one Eowyn had given to me. And the thought of the men not knowing that we were among them on the battlefield was enough to give me nightmares. What if we both perished, and the men thought we were back home waiting for their arrival? What then? Would they forever resent us? Nothing at the moment seemed like reality. It all seemed like a bad dream. But as I opened my eyes my stomach began to burn and I realized something …you can't feel pain in a dream.


	8. Chapter 8

Things had been going pretty well, considering the circumstances, and I was learning how to sword fight, along with using a bow and arrow and riding a horse. I could now balance on a horse for more than five minutes, which was good, for me. I couldn't begin to imagine how confusing it must be, balancing on a horse, during a battle. It must be hectic…scary.

Eowyn was especially patient and kind to me; always telling me to get back on the horse even if I fell face down in the mud. But I'll tell you, none of it was easy. I had taken a peek at Legolas practicing with his daggers, and bow and arrow. He was so graceful. But I didn't realize how hard it was until I tried it myself. I now knew that I probably wouldn't last long during a battle. But I didn't care. So much awful has happened in my life. What more could happen? I didn't care if I lived or if I died, but truthfully…I'd rather die.

I rubbed my sore arm and examined my now ruff hands. They were callused, but now new cuts began to take over. My large sword dug in to my flesh, making it painful, and hard to hold on. Yes, it did bleed, but Eowyn helped me bandage my hands.

Eowyn walked over to me, holding a sword of her own. She looked proud and tall. I was nothing like her.

"Are you ready to practice?" she asked while gracefully swinging her sword around. I nodded and picked up my sword which was lying on a table.

She took me outside where nobody could see us and began to explain what to do and how to do it. I rubbed my eyes and tried to act like I was really listening to her. But I really wasn't. Today was especially hard for me to focus on anything. I didn't know why, but everything Eowyn said went in one ear and came out the other.

I was thinking about a lot of things. About my home, about my real parents and where they might be living now, about whether my foster parents were worried about me or not, and oddly enough, I was thinking about Eomer. The way he looked at me, and how chills ran up and down my spine when he did. Oh well, what do I know? Not much, that's for sure.

"Sonya, come at me and I'll show you how to block a blow…Sonya? Sonya?" Eowyn, at that point, realized that I wasn't listening to her. I jumped and grinned a cheesy grin. She cocked her had and raised an eyebrow at me.

"Sonya, you have to—" Eowyn was cut off by the sound of her brother's voice. He jobbed over to us, and once he had caught his breath, he spoke.

"Eowyn, I'm about to leave…for Minas Tirith. I wanted to say goodbye to you and Sonya, before I left. There isn't much time." Eowyn gave me a knowing look and a wink, and then pretended to say goodbye to her brother; though, she knew that she'd be with him the whole time.

"Be careful, Eomer. Come home safely." She said sadly. He nodded and gave her a brave, proud smile, and then turned to me.

"It was nice meeting you, Sonya Kotov, and I hope that our paths will cross again, someday." He bent down and gently kissed my brow. Chills once again crept up on me and gave me goose bumps.

"I sure hope so." I whispered softly into his ear. He smiled and then left us standing there in silence.

For once, I wanted to fight. Fight alongside Eomer. I realized that I had some sort of feelings for him. I wanted to make sure that he'd come back home safely.

And so I turned to Eowyn, gave her a mischievous grin and said, "Come on, it's time to leave."


	9. Chapter 9

I hoped that Eowyn and I wouldn't be noticed. With all these men around Eowyn and I were bound to be found out.

I rode on my horse, side by side with Eowyn. She rode proud—like she'd done this before. But I'd never done something like this. It was nerve-wracking, especially since I knew that I was going to have to fight.

My horse became antsy and it made it hard for me to balance on it. I pulled back on the rains, but it still didn't help.

Panicking, I turned to Eowyn and mouthed the word 'help' to her. She looked frightened. She didn't want to draw attention to ourselves. But, lo and behold, here came Eomer.

"Can't you control your own horse, Soldier?" Eomer barked at me. I flinched. This was a side of Eomer that I hadn't seen before.

"Yes," I said, trying to sound ferocious and manly. Eomer scowled at me.

"Well, see that you do." That was all he said, and then turned away. I looked at Eowyn with wide eyes, but she didn't look surprised. She had probably seen him this way many times before.

We continued on, until it was late in the evening, barely even stopping to eat something. But I wasn't that hungry. Ever since I had been wounded, I didn't eat that much.

I looked down at my thin body. I wasn't sickly thin, but I was getting there. But as I mentioned before, I don't care what happens to me, all I want to do is be happy for once in my life. Just once. Is that too much to ask?Tears began to fill my eyes, but I wiped them away. A man doesn't cry—I might be found out if I did.

Eomer kept on scowling at me after that incident with the horse, and he looked at me in a funny way. Almost as if he knew about me. But now, he came over to me and sat down abruptly, looking me in the eye, and smoking his pipe as he did.

"So," he started. "Where do you come from?" he asked. "And what's your name? I haven't seen you before, but there are a lot of you, maybe I just haven't noticed. Eomer thought for moment. I could tell that he was really pondering the situation.

I realized that he had asked me a question, and then I quickly tried to figure out how to answer him.

"Well," I started out shakily. "My name is…Amras." I was completely satisfied with how I answered his question and how quickly I came up with a believable name. However, Eomer still looked suspicious.

"Well," Eomer said getting up. "Take care of yourself, Amras." But then he thought for a moment and he made a scary face. Then he spoke once more.

"Listen, Amras, a war is brewing—"

"Yes I know, Lord Eomer, that's why were are going to Minas Tirith." Eomer scowled as I interrupted him. Then, unexpectedly, he picked me up by my collar.

"No, a war between us." he clenched his teeth. "You are not soldier material. You are small." He let me go, and I clumsily fell to the ground, gripping my stomach as the searing pain ran through me once again.

"I do not know what it is, but a feeling in my gut tells me that I cannot trust you. Is that true, Amras? Are you not a trustworthy person?" I backed up against a tree. I was speechless. There was not much that I could say that would make him believe me. I now knew that he suspected something.

"You can believe me, Lord Eomer. I promise you." He scowled once more, and then before turning, he said, "Fight well, Soldier." And then he walked away.

Sweat poured down my face. I couldn't believe what had just happened. Should I tell Eowyn? Or would that cause problems?

The truth was; I couldn't win. Whether if it was Eomer who didn't trust me or even if it was back home. But most importantly, I most certainly wasn't going to be able to win this battle.


	10. Chapter 10

(Note: I just wanted to thank everyone who has read this far. Also, I wanted to mention that this is a story I actually uploaded on another site in 2006. It was my newer fan fiction, and so it is a bit rough. After I am finished posting all of these chapters, I hope to get to work on some of my more recent stories, and hopefully all of you will enjoy that as well.)

We didn't rest much, on our long journey to Minas Tirith. Not much at all. Eomer made sure that there was no fooling around. We all were to be serious. I didn't think I could tolerate this anymore. No. Eowyn could, because she was who she was. But I couldn't; not now, at least.

There were a few close calls, where Eomer might have found out that I was a woman; but he didn't. He did, however, scowl at me a lot and treated me like dirt. It must have been to show me who was boss, just in case I would have gotten any ideas. But I wasn't who he thought I was.

We rode on, and the White City, as they called it, could be seen in the distance. However, something caught our eyes as we gazed at the city; thousands of orcs surrounded the city. Smoke rose up, as the walls crumpled down. Men screamed as they were picked up by foul beasts and then dropped to the ground, where they met their deaths.

I didn't realize it right at that moment, but tears filled my eyes and began to roll down my pale cheeks. Never in my life did I ever want to see it. But I did. It was a nightmare. No matter how many times I'd rub my eyes, or pinch myself, this would still be here.

We were now galloping towards this havoc.

With one hand on the reins and the other drawing my sword, I rode to battle with the Riders of Rohan.

I had slain one orc, and dirtied my sword with its black blood. I just hacked, not knowing who or what I was hitting. I didn't think, I didn't breathe, I just hacked. Eowyn had already killed a few. I couldn't help but admire her fighting skills; she was a wonderful swordswoman.

Eomer was a few feet ahead of me and when he got a chance, he glanced over at what I was doing. He didn't seem disappointed with me, which is a very good thing.

I was terrified beyond believe. There were thousands around us. Thousands. There was no way that we would win this battle—I didn't know much about fighting, but I did know that this didn't look good for us.

Now, a very large orc ran over to me and swung his sword down almost hitting me…

(Flashback)

"Sonya, come at me and I'll show you how to block a blow…Sonya? Sonya?" Eowyn, at that point, realized that I wasn't listening to her. I jumped and grinned a cheesy grin. She cocked her had and raised an eyebrow at me.

Now, I wish I had listened to her as the orc nearly hacked me to bits with its sword. I jumped to the side, but part of my tunic was cut open; luckily, it didn't go down to my skin.

I maneuvered my sword fast enough and was able to finish the orc off.

By this time, my heart was pounding, my head ached, sweat poured down my face, and blood was running down my nicked hands. Not to mention my old wound, which was starting to bother me, like usual.

Now, looking around frantically, I realized Eowyn wasn't around.

Tears ran down my cheeks, as I realized I was alone, in the midst of a battle. I wasn't going to last long, and that was a fact.

But then I remembered something. For the first time in a long time, I prayed.

"Please, God, help me…"

Hours had past, and still more orcs were coming.

Suddenly I heard screams and the order, "Reform the lines!" I did as I was told, and as I turned, I saw elephants…not normal sized elephants, but ones several times the size of a normal one. And riding on top of them seemed to be more orcs with swords, bows and arrows.

I was so shaky; it was hard for me to manage my sword. I cried more.

I dodged one of the elephants…or whatever they were, right before it stepped on me.

Now, I turned and saw Eomer. He had fallen off of his horse, and had to deal with orcs…many of them. He was in trouble; he wouldn't last long if more orcs came.  
>I galloped over to him, hoping I wouldn't be too late. But I almost was…<p>

An orc came up behind him, swinging its sword and then bringing it down, almost hitting him…

"Eomer!" I screamed.

I held my breath brought my sword down, and stabbed the orc right before it had its chance with Eomer.

He smiled, but then cocked his head and raised his eyebrows me. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could, more orcs came, and he couldn't linger any longer.

I wondered why he had looked at me that way. But then I had realized when I screamed out his name, I didn't disguise my voice. I wasn't yelling out to him as Amras; I was yelling out to him as Sonya.


	11. Chapter 11

I searched for Eowyn frantically, but there was no sign of her. I began to sob. My knees were about to give out from under me as I ran. At this point I didn't know where my horse was. All I could remember was falling off. I didn't know whether my horse was alive or dead. It all happened so fast. So now, I ran, screaming out Eowyn's name, eyes blurred from tears, not caring who heard.

"Eowyn!" I stumbled over a dead orc's body and fell, rolling around on the ground, trying to catch myself.

Carefully, holding my side, I got back up, limping as I went along.

"Eowyn!" I screamed again.

Finally, I got a glimpse of someone. I saw Eomer again. He looked at me the same way he did before.

I sighed and realized that he probably knew who I was. And I couldn't even tell Eowyn about it, because I didn't know where she was.

Suddenly, an orc ran over to me swinging its sword, bringing it down and catching it right on my armor, cutting through and slicing my skin. I whimpered as it happened. It wasn't a deep gash, but a fair sized one. I could feel the warm blood trickling down my shoulder.

I applied pressure to it as I ran. However, I didn't really know where I was going. There really was no place to go. So I just ran.

My legs felt like wobbly.

I jumped and dodged and ran from all the action, searching frantically for Eowyn. I knew that I couldn't do this alone. I heard a thump and realized that I had dropped my sword. But that didn't keep me from stopping. I didn't care if I died. In fact, I wanted to.

"Eowyn!" I screamed again, this time stopping to look around.

"Where are…?" finally, I saw her standing amongst an enormous creature clad all in black. It had a crown and in its hands it held a mace. Eowyn had slain the dragon-like creature it flew on. But now, she was actually going to fight it. I prayed.

This was definitely it for her…it was hard to admit it, but I did.

I just stood there watching in awe as she ducked the mace every time.  
>But now, I couldn't linger…more orcs came at me.<p>

I felt around for my sword but realized that I didn't have it. I remembered dropping it, and then regretted not stopping to pick it up.

An orc ran up to me, hacking at me with its sword. But thankfully, each time I had dodged its blows.

I brought my leg back, and with all my might, kicked it hard in the stomach. It gurgled, and before falling, spit up blood.

I fought and kicked and punched as much as I could, and I will admit, it was a blessing, I managed to get out of it easily.

Once again, I lost track of Eowyn. My guess was that she was, well…dead. The last I saw of her, she was fighting that large black creature with the mace.

My stomach growled and my lips longed for water, but at this point, water was the last thing that I was going to get.

All around me began to spin and I finally gave up.

I fell to the ground holding my shoulder with one hand and my stomach with the other. I was bleeding, and I knew it. My new wound stung and my old wound still burned like fire as it always did.

My eyes began to blur; however, I was able to see Eomer run over to my side, and then kneel down.

"Are you alright, Sonya?" he asked. I gasped and hacked up blood, not being able to control my dry heaves. But then coming back, I realized how he had addressed me. "Sonya", he had addressed me as "Sonya".

I looked up at him with tear filled eyes and he smiled, while caressing my cheek with his hand.

"You fought bravely. I saw you." He said.

"No," I paused. Then spoke again. "I was fighting for the wrong reasons—I wanted to die." He furrowed his brow at me and looked at me in disbelief.

"Now why would you want to do that?" I frowned at him and realized that this wasn't the time, or place that he should be asking me questions like that. So, I didn't think, about what I was doing; I just did it. I grabbed his shoulder with my hand and pulled him for a quick, gentle kiss on the lips. He looked at me with confusion when we had pulled out of the kiss. He didn't look unhappy, but just confused.

Then, clearing his throat, grabbing his sword, and holding out a hand for me, he said, "Come, Soldier, there is very little time." I stared at him for a second and then frowned. Nodding, I took his hand and followed, thinking about what had just happened. I just kissed the man that I love. Wait…love? Yes, love. I do love him. It's true that I haven't known him that long, but that didn't stop me from having feelings for him. For some reason, I felt like he actually cared about me. The look in his eyes and the feeling I got when he looked at me was like nothing else.

I snapped out of my trance and realized that this was NOT the place to be daydreaming. So, I followed Eomer; starting out as a quick walk, but then turning into a run. I didn't think that I'd be able to keep up with him.

He handed me a sword of another fallen soldier. I proudly took it.

For some reason, I felt stronger, like I could handle things, and that I had another reason for wanting to live…Eomer.


	12. Chapter 12

This time, after the battle, I realized how dirty I really was. Black orc blood was encrusted on my hands and beneath my fingernails. And my face felt as if it were coated with dirt. And I'm sure it was.

I was very tired and could barely stand up. I needed water desperately, along with something to eat. But I knew that I wouldn't get it anytime soon. For now, we had to go around and collect those who were wounded.

I could not find Eowyn, which disturbed me most of all. I wasn't even sure if Eomer knew that she had been with me and that it was her idea to come. Ah, but the best thing for me to do at this point, was to keep my mouth shut, but still help out as much as I could.

My heart ached as I walked amongst all this destruction. Many lay there limp, and very few, if any, were still alive. Most of them were middle aged men, and yet, every once in a while, I would come across a young boy.

"Another life wasted." I said to myself bitterly as I turned the body of a young boy over. One might have even thought that I envied him for leaving this earth and not taking me with him. And if they did think such things then, they would have been right. I did envy him. Though Eomer was one reason for me wanting to live, I knew that he couldn't fill the emptiness I had. For, that emptiness was what my parents were supposed to fill. But they didn't, and most likely, never would.

Tears filled my eyes as I cradled the body of the young boy. There really was no reason for me to do that. I didn't know who he was, nor did I have any sort of attachment to him. And yet, I still sobbed.

I felt a strong grip on my shoulder and quiet, soothing whispers that I couldn't even make out. I turned to see Eomer staring down at me, with a look of pity on his face.

"Did you know him?" Eomer asked, while kneeling down beside me. I shook my head no, and he furrowed his brow.

"He's just so young." I finally answered, quietly. "Another life has been wasted—why do you have young boys fighting for you? Don't you have enough grown men to do it?" I scowled as I said these bitter words. Eomer looked bewildered as the tone of my voice changed from pitiful and sad, to bitter and angry.

"We have no choice—this boy was a wonderful, brave soldier…" and then, closing his eyes, he continued. "May he rest in peace." I looked at Eomer and saw a gentle side of him, one that I never saw before.

And now, getting up, he looked at me strangely. But then, the look went away, and then I felt his fingers running through my hair, while his other hand gently caressed my cheek. I looked into his eyes and smiled…a smile that I haven't smiled in a long time.

"You fought bravely." Eomer whispered in my ear. But I frowned at him.

"Eomer," this time, I whispered and ran my fingers through his hair. "When I came here, I didn't want to fight, and was determined that I wasn't going to. But now…" I paused, looking around at all the dead bodies around me. "Now, I'm an assassin." Eomer frowned.

"No you are not. Did you see what you were up against? Surely you wouldn't feel bad about killing these hateful creatures." Sighing, and wiping a stray tear from my cheek, I realized that he was right. These were the creatures that had captured me, tortured me, and practically killed me. No, I didn't do the wrong thing. In fact, deep down, I felt a feeling of satisfaction. Perhaps it was something that I even needed to do. It was a way of taking out my anger…

(Flashback)

"I want my mamma!" I sobbed, while yanking at my foster mother's clothes. I knew that she loved me like one of her own children, but she still wasn't the same as my biological mother. Though, I didn't have many memories of my real parents. I didn't see them very often, and…they didn't give me the love that I needed…

(End of flashback)

I began to shake as memories of my childhood raced through my mind…

"I hate them!" I screamed aloud, not really realizing that Eomer was still there. He looked at me with a startled look on his face.

"What?" he asked, while trying to wrap his arms around me, in order to control my shakes.

"I h-h-hate t-them!" I said between sobs.

"Sssh," Eomer said, trying to calm me down. "Tell me; what is the matter?" he asked. I looked up into his loving eyes and wondered if I really should tell him. I knew that I could. I loved him; though I didn't know what he felt about me. But for now, I had made up my mind…I could trust him.

"Sssh," Eomer whispered again. "Who do you hate?" I gulped and looked up at him, as I wrapped my arms around his strong body. Then, I spoke, with my voice shaking.

"My parents."


	13. Chapter 13

Eomer stared down at me, as I slowly but surely came out with the truth.

"My parents." I said again, this time more confidently. I hoped that he wouldn't think ill of me once I had told him that my parents left me when I was young. Would he think that I must have been an awful child, for my parents to want to leave me? Would he think that I wasn't brought up well, since I was without my parents? I couldn't help either of these things, if they were true; however, I hoped and prayed that he wouldn't think such things, because he was the best thing I had in my life right now…but I wasn't even sure that he knew that himself.

Eomer brushed the hair out of my face and wiped the worry from my eyes. He held me close and simply, quietly, and gently asked, "Why do you hate your parents, Sonya?" I shrugged and realized that I probably shouldn't have mentioned anything or rather, said something other than, "I hate my parents." But it was too late now, and it was time to find out whether Eomer really was a trustworthy person.

"What is it that makes you hate your parents?" Eomer asked while pulling out of the hug and looking me strait in the eyes. Tears once again began to well up in my eyes, and this time, were too much to control. They ran freely down my face. Eomer wiped them away, once again, in his caring way.

"Please don't think I'm I bad person!" I burst out and began to sob. Eomer was so surprised it seemed like he would never come up with anything to say.

"Don't hate me!" I sobbed and held on to his brawny shoulders for dear life, as if the only good thing ever in my life was about to disappear as fast as, I myself, came here.

"Shh, it's going to be alright. Please tell me what is wrong, so I can help."

"M-m-my p-parents left m-me w-when I was l-little." I had to calm myself down before I could continue, unless he'd like to hear me stutter my way through my life's story. Slowly but surely, I began to stop crying and was able to continue.

"You see," I began, while wiping the last tear from my pale face. "When I was little, my parents left me. I don't know why, but I wish that I knew. I'm from Russia, you see, but then I was adopted and taken to the United Sates where I live now. I really can't complain much about my home, or my foster parents, but, Eomer, as I grew up, I've really realized what my parents had done by leaving me. I don't remember much of them…" I paused and closed my eyes trying to get a mental picture of my mother or my father, but got nothing. "All I can remember," I continued. "Was that my mother was so beautiful. I can also remember the smell of my father's cologne. But that's all." For a moment my eyes glazed over as I began to fall into a deep trance, but then I felt Eomer's eyes on me, so, gazing out at the setting sun, I continued. "There's so much I need to know about…like what was my parents' reasoning for leaving me. You know? I've always wondered; was I really that awful for them to want to leave me? Was I that plain for them to not want anything to do with me anymore? I know you don't have the answers Eomer, but just telling you seems to help—my life, Eomer, has been nothing but wondering why." I finished and turned to him. He seemed to be deep in thought. A concerned look was on his face, as he stared down at my frail body and pitiful looking body.

"Sonya," his hand gently caressed my cheek and I savored every moment of it. "I'm sorry." Was all he said; though, to me, it meant a lot. In all the years that I have spent without my biological parents, I have never heard anyone say, "I'm sorry," to me. Never. And now I have, and it meant so much.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "Sonya," his whispers sent chills up and down my spine like they usually do. "I could never ever hate you. There is no way that anything could change the way that I feel about you now." He blushed as he said those last words. I'd never seen him blush before, but it was actually kind of cute. But what did he mean when he said, "The way I feel about you now?" How did he feel about me. I wanted to ask, but was too shy to say anything else.

"You are special to me, Sonya, and I'm so sorry about your childhood. I wish that I could change it for you. I wish that I could have met you sooner; maybe I could have made things better for you. But I can't change the past…" Eomer frowned, and with a very stern voice he spoke again. "The ring wouldn't be here, if we could change the past." But then he softened his tone and grabbed my hands.

"I care about you, Sonya. So never think that I'd hate you or leave you." These words melted my heart. I've never known anyone who really cared about me that way.

"I care about you too." I managed to get out; though, inside I was screaming, "I love you!" I now wondered if Eomer loved me. Did he just care about me, or is it something more? I wanted to ask him so bad if he loved me. It killed me to not know if he did.

Throughout my life I've wanted parents. I wanted to know what they were like. I wanted to know if they really loved me. But now, what I wanted was to know if Eomer loved me. I love you! I love you! I was screaming on the inside. This was it. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to find out.

"Eomer," I said quietly and shakily. "I…" but I was interrupted, as there were screams. It was Eomer. And now, he was cradling a body. And the body was of his sister.

"My, God," I whispered to myself. "Eowyn."


	14. Chapter 14

(Note: Hi everyone. I've decided that anything that is a flashback or a dream will appear in italics, just so it is a little less clumsy than I had it before. Enjoy and thanks again!

It was explained to me that we were now in the houses of healing. Eowyn was still alive. Barely, yet alive.

They had offered to take care of me, but I wouldn't have it; not until I knew that Eowyn was safe, and that I could see her again.

I couldn't move, I couldn't breathe; all I could do was stand there and stare blankly. All seemed blurry to me.

Eomer was a wreck. He sat down with his head in his hands, sobbing. I didn't know what words I could say that would comfort him. There was nothing; nothing that I could think of. From this point on, I was useless…not that I had been useful in the first place.

I sat myself down beside Eomer; though, still not speaking. He looked at me, teary eyed, and I gave him a sad, yet encouraging smile. He grabbed my hand.

"She'll be ok." I said; though, I wasn't even sure myself. I suppose that everyone says that, even when they're not sure…I guess that it comes naturally; trying to encourage those you love.

Eomer nodded as another tear ran down his cheek. It broke my heart to see him cry.

Now, I realized how thirsty I really was. My lips were parched.

"I need to get some water." I whispered into Eomer's ear.

Then, getting up, a searing pain ran through my shoulder. I croaked and fell over to the side, clutching it as I went down. This pain was worse than that of the one I had taken to my stomach…it was the wound I had received from the orc, early on in the battle.

Eomer ran over to me and knelt down by my side. Though, I could barely see him; all around me became even more blurry than it was before.

The searing pain came back, and I yelled out.

I felt Eomer's ruff, yet gentle hand run through my hair and down the side of my face.

"What's wrong; what pains you?" he asked, searching me for a wound.

"I g-got cut by and o-orc earlier." I barely got out. The pain was more than I could have ever imagined a wound could be. I wondered what could have caused something like this; what kind of weapon that the orc must've used.

"Where?" Eomer clutched my hand and wouldn't let go; a look of pain, concern, and fury in his eyes.

"My shoulder." I moaned as more pain fled through me.

Eomer took a small dagger out and then cut through the rest of my tunic with it, right where my shoulder was. I flinched as he did so.

I could now feel the cold air rush past my wound; though, it didn't feel good at all. And then I felt more of the warm blood running down my shoulder, and then down the side of my arm.

Darkness began to take me and the last thing I could remember was Eomer wrapping something around my shoulder and then gently kissing my brow.

_The room was dark. My shoulder hurt like crazy. Nobody was around. I was all alone, lying in bed._

_I didn't know where Eomer was, but I wanted him to be with me. And then it dawned on me. I remembered Eowyn and how she had been wounded and was barely hanging on to life. And then I could remember how she was beginning to mend. But there was nothing that I could remember that would explain why I was lying in bed, with my shoulder hurting like crazy._

_I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened them again._

_I gasped as I saw something, or really someone, who I thought that I'd never ever see again in my life…_

_"Sonya," her gentle whispers sent chills up and down my spine, but not chills that would comfort me._

_Her black hair was layered down onto her shoulders. Her eyes glimmered in the moonlight and were almost haunting. Her beauty was all too familiar. No…this couldn't be her….but it seemed to be._

_"Zdrastye, Mot," I slowly began, in the language I knew that she knew the best._

_"Zdrastye, Sonya," she answered, her voice chilly._

_"Pochemoo?" I asked, she shrugged, looking sad._

_"Ya ne znayu…" she paused. I saw a single tear run down her face, as she looked me up and down._

_"Ya ne ponimayu." I cut her off right as she had opened her mouth to say something._

_"Pochemoo? Pochemoo?" I began to sob as bits of my childhood flashed back._

_She began to cry herself. She walked over to me and grabbed my hand; her hand being very cold. I did not get an answer from her._

_"Pochemoo?" I sobbed. Still there was no answer, but suddenly, her body, her presence began to fade away, but before she was no more, she whispered softly to me, "Do svidanya."_

_I couldn't believe who I saw. I cried…harder than I ever have before. Harder than I cried in battle, or when I received my different wounds. I had seen someone who I never expected to see ever again. Someone who could help to fill the emptiness I had in my heart._

_"Mot," I sobbed._

_My mother._

Russian translation:

Zdrastye: Hello

Mot: Mother

Pochemoo: Why

Ya ne znayu: I don't know

Ya ne ponimayu: I don't understand

Do svidanya: Good bye


	15. Chapter 15

I closed my eyes and let tears run freely down my face. The thought of seeing my mother for the first time in years was haunting. But I couldn't figure out why it happened. It was most likely that I was hallucinating, because of the wounds I had received. But the touch of my mother's ice cold hand was very real. Her beauty was just as I had remembered it as a child. Her soft way of speaking haunted me just as much as her presence did. I'll never figure out why it happened; why she was there. I'll just wonder why…just like I always have.

I rested my head back down on the pillow, but couldn't even begin to think about going back to sleep. When I closed my eyes, I saw her. When I turned my head, I would get a quick glimpse of her haunting, yet beautiful eyes staring back at me. My mind was filled with nothing but thoughts about her, and there was no way of getting rid of them.

I jumped as I heard the door creak, and then I turned to see Eomer. He ran over to the side of my bed, and knelt down.

"Sonya, you are all right…are you feeling better? How is your wound healing?" at this point, the way Eomer spoke to me, reminded of how a father should be; what my father should have been like.

"Yes, I'm alright." I said dryly. Eomer grabbed my hand and kissed it, and then ran his fingers through my hair.

"What is wrong?" he asked once he had seen my red and weary looking eyes.

I didn't want to tell him. He wouldn't believe me if I were to say that I saw my mother. No, it wouldn't be wise to tell him that, unless I wanted him to question my sanity.

"Nothing," I simply answered. Eomer still had a concerned look on his face.

"Would you tell me if there was something wrong?" he asked. I became aggravated with him asking me this and couldn't really control what happened next.

"Would you stop drilling me?" I snapped. Eomer jumped back. "You don't really need to know every little detail about me, do you? You are most certainly not my father!" as I spoke, not only did I hurt him, I hurt myself. Just mentioning my father was enough for a lump to form in my throat and for me to become teary eyed, once again.

Eomer looked down at the ground. A scowl now appeared on his face. And of course, I didn't make things any better; I became even more bitter.  
>"I should go." Eomer got up and began heading to the door.<p>

"Maybe you should." Eomer stopped in his tracks and headed back towards me. I propped myself up in the bed, so I could look him right in the eyes.

"I am just trying to look after you."

"Well, there really is no need to do that." Eomer gritted his teeth; I could tell that he was holding back. "Why do you need to know every little freakin' detail about my life? It's not that interesting, I could tell you that. I don't want to bother you with my problems!" I slowed down and waited for Eomer to say something, but he didn't, so I started again. "How important can I be to you? You have other things to deal with; I'm just another burden. Why would you want to have anything to do with me?" Eomer looked less intense now. He just stared down at the floor, and then looked back up at me. He repeated this several times before saying anything.

"Because I care about you." He spoke softly. I shook my head.

"I need a better reason than that—why do you want to add my problems to yours?" Eomer looked up at me and chills ran up and down my spine like they usually did when he stared at me. I was lost in his eyes. They were so beautiful. Hypnotizing, even.

"Why?" I asked again. My heart pounded as he grabbed my hand and I got butterflies in my stomach. I loved him so much. I was screaming it inside my head. I wanted to say it, but just couldn't.

"Sonya," he gently stroked my hair, and I closed my eyes. I thought that I'd go crazy if I didn't say tell him that I loved him. I felt him gently stroking my hair, and then, he brought his hand down, and caressed my cheek with it. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to say it. I'd go crazy if I didn't.

"Eomer," I whispered in his ear. "I—"

"Sonya, I love you."


	16. Chapter 16

What did he just say to me? Eomer said that he loved me. I couldn't believe it. I longed to hear him say those words, but never thought that he ever would. I thought that it was only a dream.

"What?" my answer was stupid, but there was nothing else that I could think of to say.

"Sonya," Eomer grabbed my hands, my face turned pink, and my heart began to beat faster and harder. "I really do care about you; no matter what you think. I don't want to see you get hurt, and I want you to be able to trust me without thinking that I'd think ill of you. Please, Sonya…" his words slowly but surely, melted my heart. I treasured every word that he said, but still stood there dumbly, not saying anything. "Sonya," he spoke again, and ran his fingers through my hair.

"Eomer," I choked back sobs. For once, I had someone to hold me and tell me that they loved me. Never in my life has that happened. My real parents never said it, and my foster ones barely said it. But now, I heard it come out of the mouth of the man that I loved. I couldn't say anything. Tears filled my eyes, and that all too familiar lump started to appear in my throat. All I could do was gasp, and talk through my sobs all at the same time. Eomer held me close, like I always hoped that he would.

"Sonya," his lifted my chin up with his finger, so I could look him in the eyes. "Will you not answer me?" I turned my head and looked down at the ground. Now that he had said it, I didn't want to say it. The truth was; I was now afraid to say it. But I did love him. I loved him with all my heart.

"Sit down." I said sternly. Eomer sat down on the edge of my bed and stared at me, looking hurt; like I was about to scold him or something.

"When I met you, Eomer…oh, I still remember it…it's been quite a while—but, when I met you, I can remember how Eowyn and I were soaking wet from swimming in the pond, and then you approached us…and I can remember your smile; how you looked at me…"

_A man walked up to us and raised his eyebrows as he watched me struggle. He had a twinkle in his eye, and if you ask me, he was very handsome. His hair was blond and fell to his shoulders. He was dressed all in armor, and in his arms he held a helmet._

_"Eowyn," he said as he came closer to us. "Who is your friend, and what happened to her?" he asked looking totally bewildered._

_"She was wounded, Eomer, Aragorn found her and brought her here." Eowyn explained. I tried to stand up straight, but failed to do so. The pain was too great._

_"I'm sorry to hear that you were wounded." He said, and then examined our sopping wet clothing. "How did you get all wet?" he asked with a snicker. Eowyn furrowed her brow and playfully punched him in the shoulder._

_"We were having fun." She said with a smirk._

_"Well," he started. "I had better get going…it was a pleasure to meet you, uh, oh I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." I blushed as he stared into my eyes and almost forgot to answer him._

_"My name is Sonya Kotov, but just call me Sonya." I smiled and giggled almost like a little girl._

_"Nice to meet you." Eomer said, bowing his head, and then, he walked away._

"You cared about me, unlike most people I knew…"

_I backed up, and bumped into someone. I quickly turned around and found myself staring into Eomer's beautiful eyes._

_"Hello," he said, I blushed. "It's late. Shouldn't you be in bed?" I frowned; I didn't like to be treated like a child._

_"No," I said. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, if you think that I'm not." Eomer stared at me, and then grinned._

_"I wasn't implying that you couldn't. It's just, you've been wounded, and I didn't want to take the chance of that happening again." He placed his hand on my shoulder and chills ran up and down my spine._

_"Yes well," I began, but sleep seemed to have caught up with me. I yawned and suddenly became a little dizzy._

_"Maybe I will go to bed." I slurred, and turned to walked away. But I felt a strong grip around my wrist._  
><em>"Goodnight." Eomer said, and gently kissed my brow. This was certainly unexpected, but definitely welcome.<em>

_"Thank you." I smiled, and made my way back to my room._

"Eomer, I'm glad that we met. I wouldn't want it any other way, and I want you to know…oh, I should have said this a while ago, but I didn't…I love you too."


	17. Chapter 17

"…I love you too." Eomer's jaw dropped and then he stared back at me dreamily—a way I've never seen him look before. I finally said what I had wanted to say and I felt a big weight lift off of me. If he didn't like it, too bad, but it was obvious that he did.

He wrapped his arms around me and it seemed like an eternity before he let go. But I didn't mind being in his arms at all.

"Sonya…I love you." This time he said it even more meaningfully. Finally, he dove in and kissed me passionately. It was a sweet, yet, innocent kiss, but unlike any kiss I've ever had before. He eventually let go, and then gazed down at me. My eyes were becoming teary, like they always did. Never has anyone told me that they loved me—or at least, if they did, they never seemed to mean it. But he loved me. He said he did, and that was enough for me.

Suddenly, Eomer stood up, from where he was sitting on the edge of my bed, and he began to walk around frantically. This was sudden, and definitely unexpected. He seemed to be so calm just a minute ago.

"Eomer, what's wrong?" I asked, while slowly trying to get up from my bed. I grabbed my stomach, which began to hurt again from my old wound. My new ones, oddly, enough didn't hurt as much anymore. "Eomer?" I asked again. He looked at me.

"Sonya, I just thought of something. There is another battle brewing and—"

"No, Eomer," I knew where he was going with this. It was the usual situation where he was going to say that I wasn't allowed to fight; I had been wounded and I should stay down. But I realized something; after I had fought in the battle, I discovered a new side of me. A side that wasn't weak, but was strong. A side that wasn't cowardly, but had courage. There was no way that I was going to back down now, especially when Eomer was going to go and risk his life out there.

"I'm going with you, and that is that. Don't tell me otherwise." I said sternly. Eomer backed off, and didn't bother to say more to me.

"Now," I began. I straightened up my body, which had been hunched over form being in pain. I was and felt like a new person. I had love to live for, now.

"Where's my chain mail?"


	18. Chapter 18

I picked up my chain mail which had been thrown aside, in the corner, during the time that I was being treated for my wounds. My once pristine tunic was now torn at the shoulder right where the orc's blade had gone through, and it was also stained with my own dry blood.

As I ran my fingers down the cold metal I took notice at how pale my hands really were from loss of blood. I looked them up and down and also noticed the nicks and cuts, which had been caused by my sword. War had really changed me; though, I wanted to deny it.

I could feel Eomer's warm breath on my neck as he came up from behind me. He rested his hand on my shoulder and I grabbed it with my own.

"I don't think you should be fighting." He whispered in my ear. I frowned. There was nothing that was going to stop me from fighting along side him.

"No, Eomer," I said quietly. "This is something that I'm going to do whether you like it or not. Eomer, I love and care about you. Do you think that I'd ever forgive myself if something happened to you out there and I wasn't there by your side?" I asked, while gripping his hand. He was silent for a few seconds before he actually spoke.

"Sonya, I know you want to be out there with me, and it means more than you know, but you need not fight anymore! Many soldiers have risked their lives for the sake of Middle-earth, so if mine is to be claimed as well, then…so be it." I flinched as he spoke to me. The thought of him dying and leaving me was too much to bear. He was all that I had now; all that I wanted, so if he was going to go and risk his life out on the battlefield, then I was, too. We were both silent for, what seemed like forever, but he finally spoke again. "You tell me that you'd never forgive yourself if something were to happen to me and you weren't there, but how do you think I would feel if I let you go out there, and this time your wounds were fatal. If I had known that you were amongst the riders, I would have forbid you from going with us. But I was unaware of your actions. Sonya, please, I know that you've already made up your mind, but won't you at least rethink what you are going to do? I promise that I will come home to you, and when I do, I promise to marry you. In fact, when the war is over with, I should hope that you will marry me." I couldn't believe it. Eomer asked me to marry him. Of course I would! I loved him. I loved him! This was wonderful. But then again, it was another way for Eomer to keep me out of the battle, which was clearly not going to happen. So, this was how it was going to go down…

"Eomer…of course I will marry you! I love you!" I ran over to him; cuddled him and held him close. "But you must understand something. I am going to fight. I am going to fight! You have to accept it! There is no other way that I can put it. Eomer…I am going to fight alongside you." Eomer hung his head. He had failed to convince me once, and when he tried again, he failed. There was silence for quite a while before anyone said anything, but then Eomer spoke, ignoring my words which I had said before.

"I must go and prepare for battle. It is near, and I've lingered here too long." Kissing my hand, he began to walk away, but then, stopping, he turned around and spoke to me again. "I love you, Sonya, keep safe." He had hurt in his eyes, and I could tell.

What was I going to do now? Stay home and hope that he survives? Or, go and fight alongside him?

My helmet was practically blinding me. The helmet was one thing that I wished that I could get rid of, but wasn't really able to.

I was riding on my horse past all of the riders, who were either preparing for battle, or who had already mounted and were riding along side me. I could see fear in their eyes, and I couldn't blame them. From what I heard, this was most likely the end. We had no hope in winning this battle. But we were going to fight anyway. A heroic choice, but one, in which I found hard to make. I now realized that I would never marry Eomer. I'd never get to go back to my real home. I was going to die on the battlefield.


	19. Chapter 19

As we approached the black gate, my heart went into my stomach. It was bigger than anything I have ever seen. I had never imagined anything like this; not even in the scariest of nightmares. This was an evil place.

Eomer marched beside me, and could sense the fear that was in my eyes. I had hoped that it wouldn't show, but it did.

"Do not worry." Eomer said loud enough for only me to hear. I nodded confidently, though; I most certainly wasn't confident inside.

There were lines of men now, facing the black gate. I was in the front with Eomer. My heart began to pound. Sweat already poured down my face even though I hadn't done anything yet.

I looked over at Eomer worryingly. He gave me an encouraging smile, and placed his hand on my shoulder, and then he spoke.

"It will be alright." He said, but I could tell that he really had no idea what he was talking about. He was just trying to make me feel better and nothing more. The other men said that we had no hope, and so I assumed that experience fighters, and ones who have seen and heard more than I have, would know.

I was scared, and I wasn't going to deny it.

"I'm scared." I looked at Eomer. His ruff hands brushed passed my cheek. "I'm not going to survive this. I know that I won't." Eomer frowned at me. His eyes watered up, but he forced the tears back down. I could tell that he was scared as well, and that he was even worried that I wouldn't survive.

"If you don't survive this, then I won't be able to. Even if all is well, and the war is won, I won't be able to survive knowing that you will no longer be around." Eomer's voice was shaky, as he spoke, but I knew that he was trying to hold back as much as he could…so that I wouldn't be worried.

"Come on, now, smile big for me, now, I want to see you smile." And so I did smile, as much as I could. But it was a forced one.

"There it is." Eomer said to me. And so he kissed my brow and then planted a sweet and gentle kiss right on my lips.

"I love you, Sonya, just so you know…" Eomer trailed off, almost as if he were thinking of something else to say.

I hung my head.

Aragorn was now riding up and down the lines, trying to get everyone riled up and ready to fight. This was it.

"Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers…" Aragorn began. "I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me…" I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Eomer's misty eyes staring back into my own.

"Sonya, I will see you after this battle...I will."


	20. Chapter 20

(Note: Well hello, everyone! Long time, no see! This is the final chapter to the story, which I hope you will enjoy. There will be quite a few flashbacks in this, so try to keep in mind that flashbacks or visions/dreams of any sort will be in italics, so as not to confuse. Let's see, what else? Oh yes! How could I forget! Thanks again to those of you who reviewed…you know who you are! I loved to see your reactions/opinions; they truly would make my day. So please enjoy, and I should have more stories up in the future, which I hope you will also take a look at, as I will gladly read yours. Take care and God bless!)

With another swing of my sword, I cut down another orc. Many lay slain by my feet; all were ones that I had killed. I was breathless, but not yet tired. I seemed to have found a side of me that could kill. With fire in my eyes, I swung my sword as hard and as fast as I could manage. Another orc was now lying dead my feet.

I was enraged now. I couldn't find Eomer, and I assumed that the enemy had finally done away with him. But that wasn't the part that enraged me. In fact, it was selfish for me to feel the way that I did. I was upset because I felt like I was never allowed to be happy in my life. Ever. I looked at my reasoning:

1. I had parents who left me as a child.  
>2. My step parents didn't seem to love me as much as they could and should have.<br>3. Eomer was now dead.

Tears filled my eyes and rage filled my heart and soul.

Suddenly, an orc caught me from surprise, by an attack from behind. Its arms were wrapped tightly around my neck, and I choked. But suddenly, its grip was loosened, and I was free. Looking down at its now dead body, I saw an arrow sticking out from its back. Someone had saved me.

Another orc came at me, and with one swipe of its sword, it managed to slit part of my wrist, causing me to grunt and my eyes to tear up. I was distracted for a moment as I examined my wrist which was now bleeding down the rest of my hand. The pain was burning, making it feel like I stuck my hand into a pot of boiling water. I looked up evilly at the orc which had made its attack on me. I guess I could count myself luckily that it didn't make another move while I had been dazed.

I was now getting tired and my body began to slow down. But I didn't. I kept on going. For the sake of Eomer…wait…Eomer. I remembered something…I'd never see him again. Reality had finally hit me. He was really gone. I had known about this earlier, but it didn't hit me as hard as it hit me now. I fell to me knees, breathless and weak, from fighting. Tears ran freely down my cheeks and I sloppily wiped them away. Now what? What was I going to do now? Die…I was going to die. I was sure of it. And then, I'd see Eomer again. But, for once, I had had my heart set on living a long life, with Eomer by my side. But my dreams were now crushed and so was my heart.

I thought back to the time when I first came to Middle-earth. I had been captured by those orcs. I had wanted to live. I begged them not to drive that knife into my stomach, because I wanted to live…

_Ch.1_

_What was I going to do? Was he going to kill me?_

_The creature finally dropped me on the cold, damp ground. We were again in the middle of a forest. I was hoping that he was going to let me go–but I was wrong._

_He pulled out a rope, and threw me against the tree. I could pretty much figure out what was going to happen to me next._

_The creature tied me to the tree, and pulled out a dagger. I flinched, even at the sight of it._

_"No, no! Nyet, nyet!" I pleaded. But it didn't listen to me._

_It held back the dagger, and within seconds plunged it into my stomach…_

I now wished that I had died.

"None of this would've happened to me!" I sobbed aloud. Nobody took notice. They were wrapped up in fighting.

My body began to shake, as I sobbed harder and harder. Tears now mixed with sweat and blood ran into my eyes making it hard to see. I dug my fingers in to the mud which was mixed with the blood of the dead. I was angry, because I was still alive. I was sad, because I was now left to live life without Eomer. And, I was happy, because of what Eomer had done for me, and how he had brought happiness into my life. I was angry, sad, and happy all at the same time. And maybe even jealous, oddly enough, of the dead that laid before me. How I wished to join them.

"This is hell!" I screamed as loud as I could manage.

I got back up, and, without any reasoning at all, I began to run, as hard and as fast as I could, dodging, the dead and the wounded who were scattered all about the ground. I dodged the fighting, hoping to eventually escape from it. I didn't care who saw me. I didn't care if they missed me, or if they wondered why I was leaving them to fight so many orcs. I didn't care what was going to happen to them next. I just ran.

All of a sudden, my body jerked forward and a sharp pain went throughout my back, and eventually into my stomach. I gasped and fell to my knees, while tasting the blood that was beginning to fill my mouth. I held my stomach and felt, what I assumed was an arrow, which had gone through me. I had been shot.

I fell onto the ground, face down, gasping and praying hard as I did so.

Everything seemed to come back to me in flashbacks…all that I had gone through since I had come here…

_Ch. 1_

_Something knocked me hard on the back of my head. And my eyes began to blur. "Nyet!" I didn't want to give up. This time I wanted to live. But everything went black, and evil whispers filled my ears..._

_Ch.2_

_I tried as hard as I could to not cry, but tears started to run down my cheeks._

_What were these creatures, and what did they want with me?_

_So many questions ran through my mind as I lay in this dungeon like room. It was dark, damp, and it stunk._

_Would I ever be found?_

_Ch.3_

_I woke up at the sound of a crackling fire. My stomach burned like fire, and the pain was almost paralyzing. I just gazed up at the trees, which stood above me and wondered where I was now. Was this heaven? Where did that creature go, and why wasn't I still tied to the tree. What if I had been found by another creature and all they wanted to see was me endure more pain. I cringed at the thought of it and wanted to just go back to sleep. As I began to shut my eyes once more, someone had discovered I was awake. It was a man–no wait, his ears were pointed. Was he an elf? Could that be possible? But after what had happened to me, I would believe just about anything._

_Ch.4_

_"I'm sorry, but these are hard times. You see, we are in the middle of a war and–"_

_"A war?" I stopped him. What did he mean a war? Oh great, I thought. What's gonna happen to me now?_

_"What do you mean?" I asked._

_"It's too much for a young girl to hear. But I assure you that you will be safe." Aragorn said._

_"You mean it's none of my business?" I asked with a smirk on my face._

_"Cause if that's what you mean, then why didn't you just say so?" Aragorn looked bewildered._

_"I heard you and that elf guy talking earlier about wanting me to fight." I said._

_"I told him no." Aragorn said._

_"I hope so." I grumbled._

_"He said you were strong."_

_"He must be mistaken."_

_"Maybe he's right."_

_"I think you're trippin'"_

_Ch.5_

_My once nice button up white blouse's front was now mostly covered in blood stains. The denim shorts I had were now torn and also covered in blood stains, not to mention dirt from being dragged across a scummy floor. Also, I looked down at my legs and realized how torn up they were. And for the first time, I had noticed what I really looked like…_

_I looked weak, dirty, and helpless._

_I slowly nodded my head and took the dress off of my bed._

_"Thank you," I said quietly. "Is there a way…?" I hesitated. "That I could get a bath?" Eowyn gave me a smile and nodded. For the first time, I felt relieved._

_Ch.6_

_A man walked up to us and raised his eyebrows as he watched me struggle. He had a twinkle in his eye, and if you ask me, he was very handsome. His hair was blond and fell to his shoulders. He was dressed all in armor, and in his arms he held a helmet._

_"Eowyn," he said as he came closer to us. "Who is your friend, and what happened to her?" he asked' looking totally bewildered._

_"She was wounded, Eomer, Aragorn found her and brought her here." Eowyn explained. I tried to stand up straight, but failed to do so. The pain was too great._

_"I'm sorry to hear that you were wounded." He said, and then examined our sopping wet clothing. "How did you get all wet?" he asked with a snicker. Eowyn furrowed her brow and playfully punched him in the shoulder._

_"We were having fun." She said with a smirk._

_"Well," he started. "I had better get going…it was a pleasure to meet you, uh, oh I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name." I blushed as he stared into my eyes and almost forgot to answer him._

_"My name is Sonya Kotov, but just call me Sonya." I smiled and giggled almost like a little girl._

_"Nice to meet you." Eomer said, bowing his head, and then, he walked away._

_Ch.7_

_"R-r-ride a horse?" I asked and she nodded. "B-b-but I don't even have my driver's license back where I come from; how can you expect me to ride a horse?" Eowyn giggled, opened the barn doors, and led me to a beautiful brown horse with white patches all over its chest._

_"You can learn quickly. I'll teach you." Eowyn said, while petting the horse's nose. I hung my head and realized what I really had gotten myself into._

_Ch.8_

_"Sonya, you have to–" Eowyn was cut off by the sound of her brother's voice. He jobbed over to us, and once he had caught his breath, he spoke._

_"Eowyn, I'm about to leave…for Minas Tirith. I wanted to say goodbye to you and Sonya, before I left. There isn't much time." Eowyn gave me a knowing look and a wink, and then pretended to say goodbye to her brother; though, she knew that she'd be with him the whole time._

_"Be careful, Eomer. Come home safely." She said sadly. He nodded and gave her a brave, proud smile, and then turned to me._

_"It was nice meeting you, Sonya Kotov, and I hope that our paths will cross again, someday." He bent down and gently kissed my brow. Chills once again crept up on me and gave me goose bumps._

_"I sure hope so." I whispered softly into his ear. He smiled and then left us standing there in silence._

_For once, I wanted to fight. Fight along side Eomer. I realized that I had some sort of feelings for him. I wanted to make sure that he'd come back home safely._

_And so I turned to Eowyn, gave her a mischievous grin and said, "Come on, it's time to leave."_

_Ch.9_

_"Listen, Amras, a war is brewing–"_

_"Yes I know, Lord Eomer, that's why were are going to Minas Tirith." Eomer scowled as I interrupted him. Then, unexpectedly, he picked me up by my collar._

_"No, a war between us." he clenched his teeth. "You are not soldier material. You are small." He let me go, and I clumsily fell to the ground, gripping my stomach as the searing pain ran through me once again._

_Ch.10_

_Tears ran down my cheeks, as I realized I was alone, in the midst of a battle. I wasn't going to last long, and that was a fact._

_But then I remembered something. For the first time in a long time, I prayed._

_"Please, God, help me…"_

_Ch.11_

_I fell to the ground holding my shoulder with one hand and my stomach with the other. I was bleeding, and I knew it. My new wound stung and my old wound still burned like fire as it always did._

_My eyes began to blur; however, I was able to see Eomer run over to my side, and then kneel down._

_"Are you alright, Sonya?" he asked. I gasped and hacked up blood, not being able to control my dry heaves. But then coming back, I realized how he had addressed me. "Sonya", he had addressed me as "Sonya"._

C_h.12_

_"I hate them!" I screamed aloud, not really realizing that Eomer was still there. He looked at me with a startled look on his face._

_"What?" he asked, while trying to wrap his arms around me, in order to control my shakes._

_"I h-h-hate t-them!" I said between sobs._

_"Sssh," Eomer said, trying to calm me down. "Tell me; what is the matter?" he asked. I looked up into his loving eyes and wondered if I really should tell him. I knew that I could. I loved him; though I didn't know what he felt about me. But for now, I had made up my mind…I could trust him._

_"Sssh," Eomer whispered again. "Who do you hate?" I gulped and looked up at him, as I wrapped my arms around his strong body. Then, I spoke, with my voice shaking._

_"My parents."_

_Ch.13_

_"You are special to me, Sonya, and I'm so sorry about your childhood. I wish that I could change it for you. I wish that I could have met you sooner; maybe I could have made things better for you. But I can't change the past…" Eomer frowned, and with a very stern voice he spoke again. "The ring wouldn't be here, if we could change the past." But then he softened his tone and grabbed my hands._

_"I care about you, Sonya. So never think that I'd hate you or leave you." These words melted my heart. I've never known anyone who really cared about me that way._

_Ch.14_

_"Sonya," her gentle whispers sent chills up and down my spine, but not chills that would comfort me._

_Her black hair was layered down onto her shoulders. Her eyes glimmered in the moonlight and were almost haunting. Her beauty was all too familiar. No…this couldn't be her….but it seemed to be._

_"Zdrastye, Mot," I slowly began, in the language I knew that she knew the best._

_"Zdrastye, Sonya," she answered, her voice chilly._

_"Pochemoo?" I asked, she shrugged, looking sad._

_"Ya ne znayu…" she paused. I saw a single tear run down her face, as she looked me up and down._

_"Ya ne ponimayu." I cut her off right as she had opened her mouth to say something._

_"Pochemoo? Pochemoo?" I began to sob as bits of my childhood flashed back._

_She began to cry herself. She walked over to me and grabbed my hand; her hand being very cold. I did not get an answer from her._

_"Pochemoo?" I sobbed. Still there was no answer, but suddenly, her body, her presence began to fade away, but before she was no more, she whispered softly to me, "Do svidanya."_

_I couldn't believe who I saw. I cried…harder than I ever have before. Harder than I cried in battle, or when I received my different wounds. I had seen someone who I never expected to see ever again. Someone who could help to fill the emptiness I had in my heart._

_"Mot," I sobbed._

_My mother._

_Ch.15_

_"Sonya," he gently stroked my hair, and I closed my eyes. I thought that I'd go crazy if I didn't say tell him that I loved him. I felt him gently stroking my hair, and then, he brought his hand down, and caressed my cheek with it. I couldn't take it anymore. I had to say it. I'd go crazy if I didn't._

_"Eomer," I whispered in his ear. "I–"_

_"Sonya, I love you."_

_Ch.16_

_"Eomer, I'm glad that we met. I wouldn't want it any other way, and I want you to know…oh, I should have said this a while ago, but I didn't…I love you too."_

_Ch.17_

_"I'm going with you, and that is that. Don't tell me otherwise." I said sternly. Eomer backed off, and didn't bother to say more to me._

_"Now," I began. I straightened up my body, which had been hunched over form being in pain. I was and felt like a new person. I had love to live for, now._

_"Where's my chain mail?"_

_Ch.18_

_I was riding on my horse past all of the riders, who were either preparing for battle, or who had already mounted and were riding along side me. I could see fear in their eyes, and I couldn't blame them. From what I heard, this was most likely the end. We had no hope in winning this battle. But we were going to fight anyway. A heroic choice, but one, in which I found hard to make. I now realized that I would never marry Eomer. I'd never get to go back to my real home. I was going to die on the battlefield._

_Ch.18_

_"Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my brothers…" Aragorn began. "I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me…" I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Eomer's misty eyes staring back into my own._

_"Sonya, I will see you after this battle...I will."_

Now I wasn't going to see Eomer after the battle. My life was passing before my eyes fast, and soon, my eyes slowly began to close…

_"Sonya," Gentle whispers filled my ears. My body stung, and every breath was a struggle._

_"Sonya," I heard again._

_"What?" I managed to ask._

_"Sonya, do not worry." I heard a soft voice of a woman, who had a Russian accent. The voice was all too familiar, and suddenly, she appeared again. My mother._

_"Mot," I whispered. This time, when I saw her, I wasn't scared, I wasn't angry, and I wasn't sad. I could feel her gentle, cold hand caress my cheek, and I closed my eyes. I gasped as another sharp pain went through my body._

_"Mot!" I screamed and grabbed on to her hand for dear life._

_"Shh," she whispered gently to me. She actually cares, I thought to myself._

_"I am going to die." I said shakily._

_"No, no, you are not."_

_"But, Eomer is dead…he was all that I lived for. W-when you and otyets left me, I-I had nothing. B-but, I eventually got to know Eomer, a-and…I loved him…" the last few words I said, I whispered softly. Tears filled my eyes as I looked into my mother's caring ones._

_"I'm going to die. I want to. I want to die and to go be with Eomer."_

_"No, no. You can't die. There is so much that you will miss out on, Sonya. It is not your time yet." My mother said sternly to me. "You are not going to die. Please. Please, don't go yet." She begged me. Tears ran down my cheeks._

_"Don't go. Don't go." She said again and again as she began to fade away, just like she had done before. She was gone. I sobbed._

_All before me began to blur and darken. I was fading fast and I knew it. I thought of my mother, and how she said that I wasn't going to die. But I was. There was no helping it. I thought of Eomer, and how, if I lived, he wouldn't be there with me. Everything, and I mean, absolutely everything, seemed lost._

_All went black._

"Don't go. Don't go." I heard those words being repeated over and over again. But they weren't being said by my mother. In fact, the voice was all too familiar. I opened my eyes, and met Eomer's teary ones. I began to shake again, as I sobbed. Ti was him. It was really him.

"This is heaven." I said with a smile. I was so happy to see Eomer, but I was so weak, it was hard to show it.

"No, sadly, this isn't." Eomer said, wiping away my tears.

"I thought that I'd lost you." He said sadly.

"No, you haven't…not yet." I looked around at all who lay dead beside me. Both good and bad.

"We won the battle." Eomer sad joyfully, but then he frowned as he looked me over. My face was as white as snow, and I still continued to bleed.

"I'm going to die." I said calmly.

"No, no, you won't." Eomer said to me. "I'm going to save you, no matter what." He said trying not to cry.

"Ok," I said simply. I wanted to live, now.

"I'm sorry." I apologized to Eomer.

"Why would you say that?" he asked me.

"Because, you didn't want me to fight, but I did, and…look at what has happened to me.

"But you have fought bravely, can't you see? You have proven me wrong!" he said with a big smile. I smiled back at him, just so happy that I was with him.

"But you were right. I shouldn't have fought and now I am paying for it." I said.

"Don't worry, my love, just go to sleep. I will take care of you." He said, while brushing his hand past my cheek.

"Hell." I whispered.

"What?" Eomer asked.

"Hell," I said again, taking a deep and painful breath.

"War is Hell."


End file.
